23.10.09

plans for the weekend:

i'm informed that normals do things like go out and drink. i intend to drink too, if all goes to plan, since i will be test-implanting a plastic-coated cellphone buzzer from the Northpaw kit into my ankle...

so, i'm gonna go get a hot glue gun, cover the buzzer in waterproof goodness, take a scalpel and shove that sucker in there. also i plan to solder the Northpaw's control board electronics together, design experimentation and sepsis permitting.

also i had something of a psycho bastard episode yesterday; i was almost ready for class, having done my usual faffing about in the morning (take pills, paint C symbols on face, try not to go back to bed because Muad-Dib is still dozing and asking for hugs, spike hair, etc.), and i was running a lil late - about to leave, i discovered i'd lost my phones cable (they're fancy Bose ones i got as a gift last year, so the cable separates from the phones themselves.)

dear reader, i freaked the fuck out, cussin' and kickin' stuff and frantically digging through the debris of dead machines and old clothes that forms drifts in my bedroom, and when Muad-Dib (understandably frightened) got out of bed to come hold me still, i burst into tears like the giant medicated pussy i am. i managed to choke out that the music was what i was using in order to not spazz out in public and smack somebody (not that i'd do much damage, having all the muscle strength of a scotch pie) or end up self-harming or whatever. i refused to go to class, both because of the smeary red-eye face-paint look and the fact that i'd been reduced from a rational human being to a bawling pile of jelly.

i spent the day, in fact, going to find a replacement cable, discovering afterward that the original was in my fucking pocket, scaring normals in a coffee shop, missing three fucking lectures and a BCS seminar i desperately wanted to go to, cleaning house in order to not feel like a useless cunt (didn't work), eating purloined Starbucks cheesecake, and shaving my head.

yes, i cope with mental ill-health just as badly as Britney fucking Spears.

ergo i am now utterly bald, and have painted various things in metallic green on my skull for shits and giggles. jesus, people didn't wanna sit next to me before, they're sure as shit not gonna want to now. happy weekend, everyone.

L

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thought I'd quickly chip in and say; You have been somewhat of an inspiration, thank you.

I was diagnosed with Aspergers a couple of weeks ago, and have resolved to make up for the decade+ of time wasted on pretending to be a socially active cretin by endeavoring to set up neodynium implants for myself. How, considering Im of that despairing group with boring middle-class sensibilities(and thus, no experience of body mods at all, and no tolerance for pain, hah) but less money than a significant number of hobos, I have no idea.

Lepht said...

hey anon. you're right, pretending to be normal is overrated. it's good only for buying weed and, ninja-like, blending in with first-years as you push past them in the coffee shop and try not to reveal that their filthy eating noises make you want to punch their teeth out.

you want step-by-steps, i can get that to you. of course the first part of your quest is to find a studio that will do the implantation, or the implants themselves...

reward: 300exp.

L

ps. pain tolerance, schmain tolerance. it's not like i have one.

Ian said...

if it's any consolation, i probably wouldn't have much trouble sitting next to you. . .

and you're looking at (well, looking at the typing of) another diagnosed Aspergers patient right here. i also have a mild form of psychopathy.

and i just got a shipment of neodymium magnets, so hopefully i will be in pain sometime next week