27.6.13

i'm sorry to give you all bad news again. Muad-Dib left me this evening. i have no more words. L

45 comments:

hat said...

Hugs, sib.

hat said...

Hugs

Anonymous said...

I'm very sorry.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that is bad news. I'm very sorry to hear that and wish you all the strength you need to carry on until your life brightens up again. And if there's anything anybody can do for you through the internet, please let us know.

paul zachar said...

Sis, contact me. use sms. P.

Lock said...

I wish I had anything to say, you must be feeling beyond shit... the sapes are here for you, just say the word.

Elwood said...

I'm sad he left you, but I am happy to read this here. I think you have found your way to deal with emotional stress. The best of luck to you.

Derek said...

Here's one more person ready to help however we can. If you want to talk about anything I've left a little note in your email boxes.

Hold fast.

Anonymous said...

wishing you strength. do not give in.

Rob said...

My sympathies.

Ian MathWiz said...

sorry to hear that, sape. i know that you were together for quite a long time.

VØx.Nemorensis said...

"“The heaviest burden: “What, if some day or night, a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: ‘This life, as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh… must return to you—all in the same succession and sequence—even this spider and this moonlight between the trees and even this moment and I myself. The eternal hourglass of existence is turned over again and again—and you with it, speck of dust!’ Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: ‘You are a god, and never have I heard anything more divine!’ If this thought were to gain possession of you, it would change you as you are, or perhaps crush you. The question in each and every thing, “do you want this once more and innumerable times more?” would lie upon your actions as the greatest weight. Or how well disposed would you have to become to yourself and to life to crave nothing more fervently than this ultimate eternal confirmation and seal?” "
Much love, L

Anonymous said...

V0x, is this religious spam? Is this the result of when you read the bible too much and understand it too little?

Think about those two questions V0x. they are there to help.

Feel free to delete my noise Lepht.

Ian MathWiz said...

anon: it's a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche, which is basically a test for the extent to which you affirm life. if you truly affirm it, then you should be willing to repeat it (i.e. all things considered, it was worth it).

~Ian

paul zachar said...

Thanks for clarifying that Ian, I failed to see any attribution in VØx's post (esp on my cracked screen iphone) - so I thought the words are his own.

I am not a fan of Nietzsche, but I've read too little to to have an educated opinion. I am confused how someone who is most well known for his god is dead quote ends up using so much religious imagery that it reminds me of those pamphlets street preachers give out... - the meaning of the quote however - is not foreign to me. Lepht - like I said go ahead and delete my previous(as anon) post.

Lepht - when I talked to you back in February I told you that I and my girlfriend had broken up for a period of 2 1/2 years - those years were very difficult, I had no one to lean on.
Then we got back together and that's when the best part of our lives started. Today is our 12th anniversary.

You have me, Unqualified, Usul and I'm certain - quite a few others to talk to. We are all trying to reach you. If you haven't already - please contact us. Even if you don't want to - force yourself to. It will help. P.

Usul said...

It's as Paul says, you're not alone. You have my number. You have my e-mail. You're welcome to get in touch whenever, no matter the reason. Or not, the choice is entirely yours. Just...take care!

Motoko Kolster said...

lepht- are you okay?

i'm still here for you. talk to me anytime, all the time, more is better.

i love you

Motoko Kolster said...

lephty lephty lephty... i sent you an email..... :? :? :) :p


its a happy email......



<3

Motoko Kolster said...

hey, VOX, which book is that from?

Ian MathWiz said...

@Motoko: it's from The Gay Science, §341.

~Ian

HighCat said...

Hi Lepht,

Just keep in mind life itself is an amazing thing, no matter what happens. Russia believes in you.

Motoko Kolster said...

ooh i knew it w

Motoko Kolster said...

ooh i knew it was either that or Geneology of Morals.

...well i did also think that it might have been Beyond Good And Evil

...maybe i just knew it had a G in it

...maybe i just knew it was one of those rectangle things with the paper in it, that you put in the rectangular shelf that sits in the bigger rectangle....(selves- sp?)

or maybe its just because Saturn has returned to my house of whatever it is. no, really, its sitting right there. i've been eating it with a spoon every morning for breakfast. its like sherbert, except like, more dust flavored.

paul zachar said...

Motoko, I think you might be thinking of Goya, but then Saturn eats you, not the other way around.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear this. We (although strangers to you) are here for you and we care. Please take care of yourself and stay strong/

Anonymous said...

Damn Gom jabbar.

Lepht - many care for you.
When you are down - there are many who are willing and wanting to help you up. You have been making a difference - and look how many are hanging onto your every word.

All I can promise is that things will get better. Be strong - the world needs you - and you can do it. You have us all to lean on if you need to.

Remember what you promised. The amount of time it takes is not relevant. Don't even think of letting go of that promise. It is too important.

We all care for you and love you Lepht.

duneo

Anonymous said...

lain love hug love love

Dan Campbell said...

You know many of us feel terrible about this, Lep. And you know that you can call or email some of us, as well.

I hope there's someone else on the horizon. You're an icon to many, Lep; some of them might be good partners.

Wish there was something we could say to fix this. Please check in periodically, just to let the world know you're still kicking.

Moray Jaundice said...

Hey Lepht. I'm out of town now as I got a job in Edinburgh. I still have the same phone number and I'll give you a text.

I think it took a couple of years to get over the headfuck that was leaving my girlfriend, but now I am so much better for it now.

The only advice I have is: write. Working on my writing helped me transform my life. Art takes you through hard times.

Motoko Kolster said...

hey i aint no stranger. lepht is my best friend.


you know that, right, lepht?

i sent you my faveorite sad love song via email.

i also made you a mixtape playlist but i've been too chicken to send it. baby steps.

Motoko Kolster said...

hey i aint no stranger. lepht is my best friend.


you know that, right, lepht?

i sent you my faveorite sad love song via email.

i also made you a mixtape playlist but i've been too chicken to send it. baby steps.

Mick Spencer said...

I've sent you a text message already saying this but I'm covering my basses: I'm in Aberdeen this weekend so I'm going to come by and say hello and see how you are, drop me a message or let my know if you're not going to be there.

Mick Spencer said...

I've sent you a text message already saying this but I'm covering my basses: I'm in Aberdeen this weekend so I'm going to come by and say hello and see how you are, drop me a message or let my know if you're not going to be there.

Anonymous said...

Mick, this (from prev. post) " i'm currently planning to go down to England over the summer to maybe recuperate a little." Along with the fact that Lepht sometimes doesn't answer texts/blog comments (as Lepht states in that same blog post) means that it's possible that Lepht may not be able to respond in time. But I could be wrong.

flamingsword said...

I wish I could sprinkle dopamine like pixie dust across your brain. I do not have that power, but as a depressive agender bodily autonomist, I can offer some fraction of understanding. I wish you good drugs and lots of metal chelating herbs.

anastari said...

aw...hugs, I know how it feels and I hope that you're okay. When my boyfriend left me, I was completely shattered, I guess I invested too much into him.

Anonymous said...

Hugs, I hope you're okay right now. My boyfriend left me three months ago and I'm still not over him. Now, I obsess myself with art, transhumanism and psychology because that way I'm not thinking about him.

Anonymous said...

Where did muad dib go? Why did he go? What did he say before leaving? When will he come back?

Nullbuilt said...

Sorry to hear that. Like many others have said, we know the feeling and it is crap. Stay strong, we're all here.

CR said...

Hoping for the best for you.

You know, I wish I could think of something better to say, but... that's really all I can say.

Just found your blog and I hope everything turns out for the best for you.

Mr. C. said...

In Mexico, we say: "Ya no más falta que me venga a mear un perro." Basically, the only thing left to happen is for a dog to come piss on me.

How awful that this happens in such a time of stress and need. Stay strong.

Dan Campbell said...

All,

Lep posted some updates on her Twitter account, earlier in the month. Funny, I've been keeping up on her Twitter messages, but didn't see that one, until today.

Good news - GREAT news - is yjsy she's still around.

Bad news is that, because of her separation with her bo, she has to live at her parent's house, for the time being. And she's miserable.

Lep - C'mon. Get a donation link going. I promise I'll send something, and am about 90 percent certain, that some others will also donate.

Anonymous said...

L,

You are an inspiration to me. You are the underground unearthed; the social deviant who shed its fear and spoke its mind despite immeasurable pressure from both within and without. Your legacy as a hero belongs to us, the biopunks, the rebels and the dissenters. But your will is your own; I will not ask you to come back to us, because I have no right. You must seek happiness and peace in the way that best suits you.

We will carry on your work, both in substance and in spirit. We will hack our flesh and shed the shackles that bind our minds. And we will thank you in our hearts, and hope that you found whatever it was you needed.

You helped start a revolution, L; many will never forgive you, and a few of us will never forget you.

Motoko Kolster said...

hey lepht, i was just looking at the amazing response you got on your blog. you see? its true: everyone loves you. watch out for hustlers, cause you're the hot shit right now. i love you lepht.

this morning i had a strong and strange intuition like there was someone important passing over, is everyone okay?

it made me think of a time i visited rosa parks in the hospital. there must be some real greatness involved. don't know where it is though.

Motoko Kolster said...

i saw Ghedes today, by my bedside and his strange friend who is only half with him. i gave them both cigarettes. he looks well. he says to me 'you are no stranger to me, you look good, and your profile looks good, to me it seems you should get that woman'. he says more, but its Ghedes, so i'm not going to repeat most of it.