i welcome any kind of message from pretty much anyone who isn't trying to sell me gods or penis pills. i sometimes can't reply to everything but i'll try my damndest to read everything people send me.
email: lepht at trioptimum point com
physical address [EDIT: 21 Ashgrove, Thornbury, Bristol BS35 2LH]
mobile: (+44) (0)7527 428831, i'm absolutely shit on the phone and i really hate voice calls because of how awkward they make me so SMS greatly preferred, you can call me if you like but you'll likely get stuttering and monosyllables and i tend to hang up if i can hear my own voice.
IM on request: lephthatesmsn@hotmail.com, tell me if you wanna IM so i can try to remember how to work it
twitter: @lepht_anonym
i have a Steam account as well but i can't remember its username right now. i'll see if i can dig it up so we can have some co op. any other things that you want me to set up or think would be useful, go ahead and suggest, i'm all for anything that helps me be less isolated and more connected with you guys.
gonna go make some spiced milk and play some Alice now. carpe corporem
L
urgh. idk what the fuck actually happened but i've not been able to get into any of the Google services i use at all for the last couple of weeks - SA was rejecting my password and even the one i retrieved via mobile backup, Gmail wouldn't sign in apart from a couple of times i managed to get in through a different machine, and even then it would kick me out to relog every few minutes. dunno if someone smarter and more malicious than myself was fucking with me or if the Google account just had a stroke or something, but i'm in now. i do know that just after i posted on Twatter that i'd recovered access i was booted right back out on my pasty little arse. i fucking hate access issues.
real hackers seek knowledge, kids, they don't just fucking break things and torment people. i'll probably get another OH HEY NO HARD FEELINGS HUH I WAS WONDERING IF WE COULD SLEEP TOGETHER NOW I'VE FINISHED ANNOYING YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE READERSHIP email like last time.
makes it seem a little silly to post contact details, but what the fuck, i figure they're pretty much out there already. coming right up, sapes. cc
L
several people have contacted me regarding advertising on SA. i have refused them all. i don't care if it would make money, i don't care what i could use that money for. i'd rather work at KFC (which refused my last job application on the grounds of "not adequately qualified for this position").
as i said to the last advertiser, i don't want to associate myself with the kind of untrustworthy information that adverts represent. you could not trust the ads; you'd know they were only there because someone paid SA money. you'd know that i don't believe in the ad copy or use whatever product they're shilling. you'd know i'm not in any way qualified to tell you what you should and shouldn't buy, in this case, subscriptions to a job news site. it would be pointless at best.
at worst, the customers they want to attract would see the company's name and logo on the blog of a self-harming mentally ill drug-addicted fringe-science biohacker, and would form an impression of that company which is not quite the one the executives intended. i explained this, but i don't think anyone listened.
lastly, i fucking hate advertising. i hate the way it tries to manipulate people's use of their resources without their consent or knowledge. i hate the way advertising firms try to get into people's subconscious minds to make them buy, buy, buy. it is degrading and dehumanising. you can evaluate how to use your budget by yourselves.
so, no, there are not going to be and never will be any adverts on SA. not Google ads, not banners, not Lijit ads, not anything. fuck ads.
L
i can't answer all of those, either. there's way too many from way too long ago. this is what's going down if you've emailed me:
- if you were asking for step-by-step instructions for the experiments i've already done, those are being completed little by little. i have a list of those who have asked for them and will send them out to you when they're done.
- if you were asking common questions and i didn't answer you, it is very likely because those questions were already on the FAQ. i would happily respond to each and every person who asks where to get neodymiums, who i am, whether i'm gay, etc. with the answers or a direction to the FAQ, but i just don't have time any more. there are literally hundreds of you asking the same questions. go to the FAQ by the green link, from my profile, in the left sidebar there.
- if the answer to your question is not there and it pertains to implant hardware or control software, or you have ideas for the Southpaw development effort, go to Biohack.me and ask questions in the relevant thread there, or start a thread with your idea. this is also the place to go if you just wanted an update on the progress of the Southpaw or other experiments.
- if your question is a personal one, ask it here in a relevant post, or email me again with [Non-FAQ] in the subject line.
- if you are attempting to romance me, please don't. i'm sure you're great but i get a lot of this and i love Muad-Dib in permanence. believe me, you all will know if ever this ceases to be the case.
- if you wanted the video or photos of my latest experiments, a link to a reupload will be forthcoming.
the rest i will be dealing with personally. emails which cover any of those things above, i'm just not able to respond to and they will have been deleted. (if i had extra time you will receive a lovely copypasta that tells you pretty much what i've said here.) carpe corporem
L
okay, there's so many i can't actually respond to them all. some salient points:
melladh, Thomas, Phryk, Kuro, Crow, everyone else who responded with support: i was kinda expecting you all to be angry. i really appreciate the patience, yeah? i don't want to get rid of any of you. (apart from marriage proposal man, he sounded really fucking serious and i ended up feeling like a total wanker for having to firmly reiterate multiple times that i am not interested.)
i will add a twitter icon to the blog. i've been meaning to do it for fucking ages. thankyou for your two cents. i'll also link to the PayPal, since two or three people have asked, but i fucking hate begging.
Imran: i will email you about this post-haste. if i can afford it i am happy to speak wherever i'm wanted.
"Muad-Dib" is my top search this month. people have emailed again wanting information about him; he doesn't really have any kind of Net presence apart from a disused Facebook and Bebo, so i can't link you anywhere without revealing his real name and all of his friends' to everyone. his family is on those pages, you get the idea. a brief primer then: he is physically very beautiful, with a swimmer's body, thin handsome face, soft golden-brown hair and massive stormy grey-blue eyes; he is smart, though he doesn't get the same grades i do (it's because he hates University courses); he doesn't think either of the previous two statements are true at all; he's one of the best Heroes of Newerth support players and generally an excellent gamer; he has absolutely no self esteem; he is the sole source of humour in my bleak brain most of the time; he is ridiculously strong, physically and otherwise; he is gentle and kind and eternally patient with me and not with most people. Muad-Dib is the one of the two of us who has friends and a social life.
i do not have a Facebook. i never will.
i will make "I get email" posts if you all want them; ordinarily i just throw said mail out, but it could be publicly displayed for entertainment purposes.
Ultra Tempum: "buped" means that my venous system is filled to the brim with buprenorphine, the opiate drug that keeps me sane. i think i made it up. it's not a word you'd be using in your daily life unless you too are a functional addict.
i will upload the essay and re-upload the video of my last Nd insertion to some file stash somewhere tonight. keep you posted once it's all up with download links and the like. peace, all. carpe corporem.
L
hey, i think its eyes have rott - FUCK IT'S STILL ALIVE.
um, hi. you've probably forgotten about my sorry ass by now. have the fans all gone? is that guy who kept asking me to marry him still here?
i owe you all an apology for being away so long. lots of things happened; first there was the move, which was so fucking stressful i kept throwing up, and then trying to catch up with my honours year project, trying to get my application to repeat last semester approved and get repeat tuition fee support for it, trying to catch up with everything else i missed. there was a lot of serious head problems just after the move as well, plus fallout head-wise from the shit i did at Christmas. it still eats at me. then my finances crashed while we were moving, i got a phone call from the bank about how they needed £800 that day, and i had to use up every single penny i and my ma had, anywhere, just to stop them closing down my account. i'm still so broke i can't afford fuck all except rent. Muad-Dib is helping me get food. it's pretty much just potatoes, noodles and those frozen bags of discount meat you get at Farmfoods. i still owe my friend Feoa and Muad-Dib's dad for Berlin, my flatmate B for the massive electricity bill that came in when the boiler broke and my ma for helping me pay the deposit on the new place.
headspace got pretty corrupted this time around, as you can probably guess. i didn't try to end it this time; it makes me feel too guilty, on account of the life partner and family i'd have to leave behind, and the bupe sorta cushions the blow of a lot of those thoughts. i did completely shut down for everything but the Honours project, so i haven't even been answering my phone or checking my email, much less working on the experiments. i thank the gods of sedation that i had this shit in my veins that keeps me from going completely insane when my brain just falters and fails for months on end like that. i think i'd have succeeded at death a while ago if i didn't.
it's time to start again, again.
in my absence two places have been set up to document and plan the experiments: they are Biohack.me and SelfModifier. they were set up by people who read the blog, and i will be establishing myself on them tomorrow. it's going to be the day when i finally check emails, answer messages, make introductory posts, etc. and i promise no matter what kind of progress i do or don't make, every Saturday i will check in here and on those sites.
i tried on various people's advice to set up a Flattr. i'm still trying. my paypal broke when a payment from my bank got refused, and i think that might have broken the flattr as well.
also i had an invitation in January to go speak about H+ in Ireland; i may or may not actually do this, since i don't know if it's too late to accept or about travel funds and whatnot.
in the main, though, sorry. sorry for leaving you all for this long. sorry for not replying to your messages and emails and SMS. sorry for not being better with my finances so i have any money at all to do anything. mostly, sorry for fucking up.
i have an essay i'll post for you tomorrow about underground H+. it's a long-ass bastard (4K) but it's a fairly decent piece, i think, since i wrote it for a University course. it's 0354 now and i ought to go find something to make me sleep. i'm okay, but i'll be better when i get back into talking to people. g'night, sibs. carpe corporem.
L
okay, something has gone seriously wrong with my gmail account. all those mails? they were everything i'd deleted since three years ago. missing from the inbox was everything from this fucking year.
if you've emailed me, please email me again - it's all gone.
L
greets, all. i apologise again for my absence; i have been juggling various awful arrangements, fun with Christmas in a twisted definition of the word 'fun', a brand-new psychiatric diagnosis (looks like i have borderline personality disorder rather than autism), my decade-divorced parents getting back together and the fact that i have a hell of a lot less money than i thought i did to get to the 27c3 with. ugh. also coldsores, withdrawal, repeat scrip woes with gum-chewing receptionists, trying to buy presents for people with zero budget and repeating the year because i spent six weeks in a state of mind wherein it was an achievement not to try and kill myself every day.
regardless, i am alive. just.
Berlin is hopefully still on, pending the airports actually being open. to be honest i don't know what the fuck i'll do if they're not; if anyone knows a way to get to Berlin from England short-notice (i.e. within a night, no cross-continental bus rides) do tell. i still need to write the slides, to my embarrassment, and they're now crowing for a video of me while i'm scrabbling for the money. i'm pretty fucking stressed.
i shit you not there are 4459 unread emails in my goddamn inbox, none of which are spam, and this is just my personal mail. i don't dare look at my academic address. i will reply to your mails and comments, but it will take me a while. i apologise to anyone who has been waiting a while, although really i don't think i'm important enough to anyone that that's necessary. i have not been ignoring any of you on purpose, i promise.
i'm writing slides tonight, as well as looking at flights. the topic is incredibly general, so is there anything you people particularly want to see?
L
i will be taking an extended leave of absence from... well, life in general while term is active. i realise a few of you check this site routinely, and i apologise for its lack of life whilst i am pursuing other goals; i don't want to make promises i can't keep, and so i can't promise development of my H+ projects will continue (it usually doesn't) whilst i have continuous assessments, exams, mid-term tests and the like to pass. i don't get an opportunity to resit anything this year, and it's my final year of University, so unfortunately everything else has to take a back seat.
i am genuinely sorry for the lack of effort recently on my part. as some of you will know (and doubtless most will find it glaringly obvious), i suffer from intermittent, badly-controlled depression. a bout of it has hit me pretty hard just now despite the buprenorphine, and mostly i feel incredibly guilty about not continuing something which people have taken an interest in, but i won't get any second chances this year and i have to prioritise the first chances as a result.
i am sorry. i know this will piss people off. i will update when i have anything of value to say.
L
have been excised from this post. postmodern that.
L
all doing fine, if incredibly bruised; side of finger opposite the node is purple, we obviously hit a blood vessel this time. real post later when i am not so rushed, pictures forthcoming. several things in the meantime:
0000. i am aware of the fact that the YouTube got pulled - it is because YouTube are pussies and summerfags who can't handle a little guro in the name of science. i will put it up again on MegaVideo and RuTube asap.
0001. i am no longer suicidal, haven't been for a long time. just wanted to clarify. the combination of willing slavery to Morpheus and actually having a contribution to make towards the knowledge and experience of the species helped.
0010. i try to reply to everyone's comments, but if there's something i missed, feel free to email me or ruthlessly spam the blog until i respond. there's nothing worse than being ignored when you're trying to have a discussion.
0011. if anyone wants a tarball or zip of the complete set of photos and video i have so far you're welcome to ping me and i will put it up on stashbox.
as you were.
L
edit: fucking grammar.
sorry for the posting delay, peeps. it'll be kinda sporadic for a while; they just took me off one of my psych meds and it's gotta clear my system completely before they put me on the next kind. thus, for three weeks i'm kinda screwed, being without the shit that usually keeps me from doing things like opening my arms to the bone to watch myself bleed for shits and giggles, or delivering swift left hooks to people who annoy me in the supermarket.
i'll still be around, and i'll do my best to answer emails as usual. i'll try very hard not to kill myself (it would probably piss RU Sirius off).
L
ps. also minor surgery yesterday, in which i learned that the only State-approved implant i have was doing jack shit, since it does the same thing as our regular contraception... i gotta say, having things cut out of me with anaesthesia is fucking worse than cutting the fucker out myself.
five thousand hits! NOBODY LOVES ME!
snrrt. - L
two thousand hits. aaaaw yeeeah. *snnrrt*
yes, that is me biting a hole in my arm on the street. yes, those are all bitemarks up my limbs. yes, that is what people like me do when we get that fucking frustrated; i can't do anything else, unless you want me to take it out on one of you instead of on myself, or you wanna see me smash my head into a wall instead. i used to do that before i realised it was fucking my career up. so please, don't give me that 'Please don't bite me, Lepht, you fucking psychopath' stare on the street; i can't help it, alright?
... okay, i'm done. just getting my angries out, like they say. i gotta start again, again, and i'm a little down about it - i've been upchucking my pills, my food, all the acid in my stomach every day for about the last month and a half, and pretty much feeling shit for it. as a consequence, my partner hasn't let me outta his sight for about that long as well, so i've been living out of a carrier bag like a transient in a place with no connection and i've had no way to carry on with studying hacking. so like i said, i gotta start again; i feel like such a useless douche when i'm not learning, especially since i don't have the natural talent most hackers do.
so, i'm gonna start again, again. gotta go reintroduce myself on my old hangouts, gotta review what my head's half-forgotten and the drugs have half-erased. i've got so many buddies to get back in touch with, and a hell of a lot to apologise for, but Lepht Anonym ain't dead yet.
L
ps. to the other guy called Lepht, two things. 1. i'm sorry, but i can't give up my name, it's my name too. 2. if there's anything else i can do, let me know. i don't want hard feelings over this.
i'm crying with laughter as i'm typing this. Sapiens Anonym just hit both 100 posts...
...and the incredible milestone of 1000 hits.
L
1. will Tramadol fuck me up
3. how long for tramadol to exit
4. does tramadol fuck you up?
6. tramadol fucked up
7. solpadol
9. tramadol does it fuck you up?
10. what does tramadol do to you?
11. tramadol fuck up
don't really surprise me no more. for the information of my tramhead readers, it takes about six hours for the effects of tramadol to wear off, seven for the drug to exit your system totally - at least in my case, it'll vary hugely (we're talking by like three hours here). i've
talked about what tramadol does already; go and find out for yourselves if you wanna know that bad, or just take the fucking drugs and see what happens.
once again, ladies and gentlemen,
tramadol fucks you up.
L
i got my first spam comment today. i'm bettin' this is gonna be the start of a long, long portion of my life that i spend deleting smank from the depths of the SA comment sections. so, in the unlikely event that anyone sees one of the wee bastards and gets the urge to explore the world of phishing victims, just don't click its stupid-ass little link - go hang out at ryan1918 and see who you can get to show you some shit.
L
anonym for pain (yeah, that's why i'm constantly drugged up until i resemble Mike Huckabee at a NASA briefing. i LOVE pain.)
tramadol fuck (ha ha, not on tramadol you won't.)
java lab + quizes (you want the Patent Lepht Method.)
does tramadol fuck you up (yep.)
anonym (it makes me laugh that they're never actually looking for me...)
pronounce antonym (... just for their grammar homework. here's a tip, Murikans: the crippled hacker is Anonym (ann-onn-im), the grammatical construction is an ANTONYM (ann-ton-im). there's a fucking T in there.)
this week's net belches:
4. tramadol fucks you up (1 time) yes, yes it does.
5. Sapiens Windows (1 time) I'M INFESTEEEED!
7. "jacked in" (1 time) always was, always will be...
plus your average quotient of number string DDoS attempts, idiot Yanks looking for antonyms of words you shouldn't need to Google anyway, even a couple people who were actually looking for me.
but who the fuck actually feels the need to search for "tramadol fucks you up"?
L
