3.3.09

implants! aliens! vampires! STAY IN YOUR HOMES

so i was googling to see what other people have come up with in the way of homebrew implanted technology. what i discovered is that a few have neodyms like me, a few have RFID chipped themselves (fewer of us seem to do that than have the neodyms, weirdly) and there´s not a lot else out there.

what i also found is that far, far more of them are batshit, underpants-on-head insane.

take one Sherry Shriner, for instance. there´s something seriously wrong going on here; something, in fact, that looks a lot like classical schizophrenia to me, although i´m pretty sure i´d get called a ´black op´ for saying that in these nutjobs´ world. Sherry´s convinced that aliens put implants in your fucking ears.

not only that, but Sherry is also telling everyone that neodymium - that´s right, Nd-60, the same element ensconced in several places under the skin of my hands as i type, right goddamn next to my EM4102 RFID chip - can deactivate microchips.

the hell it can, lady. i could go demonstrate if i wanted to. people, Nd doesn´t deactivate microanything, but it will wipe your credit cards if you get a bigass one like these idiots are asking you to Paypal them for, and you sure as shit shouldn´t put two of them either side of your ear - you´re just gonna cut yourself.

on a totally unrelated note, i´m getting real sick of this sparkly teenage vampire flick, Twilight, that´s drifting around - it just made it over to Europa a couple weeks ago, and already i´m getting the shit. three separate people have accused me of looking like one of the sparkly vampire characters - apparently i´m pale enough to be considered actually undead now.

you´d think a ugly motherfucker like me would escape the whole OMG LESTAT IS KEWT treatment, but no - either i have a self-esteem problem, or the actor that plays this Alice Cullen character is uglier than i would´ve assumed. i´ma just bite the next person that says it and see if any more people think i´m fucking sparkly.

L
(would prefer a blood transfusion, seriously)

No comments:

Post a Comment

[pls no ask about the vodka. debate is always welcome. remember, Tramadol fucks you up]