donor pie

verified: the PayPal account is working, but it got hit in the face with shrapnel when my overdraft exploded and now it hates my bank account. i can still use it and take money out of it, just can't put any in from my own account. so it's kinda useless for shopping.

today me and Muad-Dib took £10 out of the account and went to the campus bakery. i mention this because it would have been impossible without you all. thankyou so much. we bought some reduced shit to last the next few days and something to eat then and there and i realised how hungry i was; yesterday's tests revealed ketosis in my system, which the doctor yelled at me for until i told her it was poverty rather than anorexia. i wasn't surprised the meat was breaking out the emergency systems after a couple weeks of not really eating anything at all, but i'd been trying to suppress the sensation of hunger itself and i guess it worked until i went in there. everything looked so good, even nasty shit like the mac'n'cheese, and it smelt like greasy, bacony, sugar-topped motherfucking heaven. i had a caramel square, and a plasma physicist mate i see every now and again gave me a steak pie before that because "you look like you need it". he was probably right. i still haven't been sick either, so it will actually give the meat some nutrients this time, albeit not very good ones.

i also found some Ribena in my locker, but it had turned into fermented stuff. not even chooh. all the glucose had been used up and it tasted like arse so i threw it out, feeling like a tool for throwing away technically still edible food. the Sprite was alright, and there were some Haribos in there as well wrapped in tin foil (fuck knows how they got in there, i don't remember). i have used up all my Xanax, though since i was using it to ignore hunger, i might not need it anymore. donor wall and proper FAQ page coming soon.

i called the Student Loans Company yesterday. they said the first employee who spoke to me shouldn't have given a time estimate because that's not allowed, and had been disciplined. they also made me skip lectures tomorrow to try and catch my passport arriving via Special Delivery (probably going to get lost since nobody can find my fucking house.) after patching me through "to my boss" three times they said my account was still being processed at head office, and that it would take about 14 working days to finish processing and then a couple more to actually get the money and letter proving the money exists to me. that is, it won't get here before i have to pay rent for November.

i asked the guy what about the October and November rent, and house bills, and the food it's meant to cover. he made a sorta nuirgh noise. fuck the SLC. thankyou, sapes. i'm not exaggerating when i say i would have bailiffs taking my furniture right now were it not for you. this has only reinforced the lengths i am willing to go to to fetch knowledge for you.



Anonymous said...

That does not sound perfect but its good to hear that you were able to fetch some food again. Take care of yourself and keep us updated.

Greets from Germany

Naib said...

Hope you get some real nutrition and glucose into your system soon. Steak pie... envious. Meat pies are something that failed to cross over to here. One of my favorites on the occasions I make it over to the UK.

Usul said...

Ah .. I remember my time in the UK fondly, stuffing my face with reduced sausage rolls and steak pies before work early in the morning. Happy days!

I'll drop you an email, so you might want to check your spam folder at some point later, on account of my odd email address...

Lepht said...

recipe: take packet diced "steak". take quarter packet puff "pastry". fry "steak". add parsley, 6 shakes tabasco, 2 spoons bisto. put meat in glass dish. pull pastry into circle, put on top, don't eat cutoffs it makes you puke. put in oven. feeds 4 servings of 650kcal each. is pretty much enough base nutrition for a day at this bodyweight.


Anonymous said...

I know this may be a pointless comment and you may have tried already but have you tried the University Hardship Fund.

"There is a Hardship Fund which is administered by the Student Support Services section of the University and intended to help students facing unexpected financial difficulties."

Sounds about right. Worth a shot atleast I'd rather someone in your situation got it than someone who just made up a sob story to get some shoes. That happens a lot unfortunatly)

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[pls no ask about the vodka. debate is always welcome. remember, Tramadol fucks you up]