no pain, no gain

i've been getting a lot of questions recently about the placement of neodymium nodes. lots of you are aware of this, but it's better to say outright: they go in your fingertips. they just don't work anywhere else, since they function by generating current that activates or stimulates nerves; this current is so small - it can't shock you - that it needs to be right the fuck inside a really sensitive nerve cluster in order to stimulate them enough that you feel it.

i have verified this experimentally, as it happens - i tried putting nodes in the backs of both hands, on the back of my wrist, and in my forearm, and they don't work. you could probably get sensation if you put them in your clit or your cockend, but i don't fucking recommend it.

unfortunately putting them in your fingertips is intensely, screechingly painful. i cried like a bitch all four or five times i've attempted it; you will too. it's worth it. no pain, no gain.

L

PS. that marks the 200th post here, incidentally. also please don't take "no pain, no gain" to mean that i exercise, because i don't.

pardon my dust

sorry for the posting delay, peeps. it'll be kinda sporadic for a while; they just took me off one of my psych meds and it's gotta clear my system completely before they put me on the next kind. thus, for three weeks i'm kinda screwed, being without the shit that usually keeps me from doing things like opening my arms to the bone to watch myself bleed for shits and giggles, or delivering swift left hooks to people who annoy me in the supermarket.

i'll still be around, and i'll do my best to answer emails as usual. i'll try very hard not to kill myself (it would probably piss RU Sirius off).

L

ps. also minor surgery yesterday, in which i learned that the only State-approved implant i have was doing jack shit, since it does the same thing as our regular contraception... i gotta say, having things cut out of me with anaesthesia is fucking worse than cutting the fucker out myself.

what do you want, Lepht, a fucking medal?

i was informed today that i won an honest-to-goddamn medal, the University's "Quincentenary Prize". you know what comes with the medal? a fucking grand, awarded "on a basis of academic merit, personal qualities and needs". they had to pick one person to give this fucker to out of all of the schools of sciences, engineering and medicine, and it was me. that's awesome, if kinda fucked up.

translated: Hey Anonym - you're poor, right? Well, we feel sorry for your crippled, Government-subsidised ass. Have a medal. And get a suit at Primark for the award ceremony, will you, you fucked-up little cueball.

upshot: free rent for a couple months, and whenever anyone asks me "what do you want motherfucker, a medal?" i'm gonna flash that bitch like it was a fuzz badge.

all of this only lends more weight to my hypothesis of being incarcerated, heavily medicated and just making all this up to fool myself into thinking my life is awesome.

L

i'm retired from the human race

due to the diligence of my newfound readership (hat tip Ian), you can find my queer ass on an obscure YouTube video from last year, hosted under my nasty ex-partner's account. it's about how to insert nodes on the back of your hand, which tbh is a pretty worthless procedure, but someone (i forget) asked me for video.



or you can find it at said abusive's account. bear in mind i haven't spoken to him in a year, so i don't want anyone going all OMG UR EX SENT ITS ARMY HERE CUZ YOUR A CUNT. he is a cunt, but that's beside the point; i was a cunt while we were together as well, albeit less so.

enjoy, marvel, speculate on what the fuck that is on the back of my wrist.

L

FAQ

i get so many emails with the same questions that i thought it was high time i wrote me an FAQ. if you got anything else you want added here, or you wanna ask me something weird, i'm happy to entertain you at lepht art trioptimum dawt com. let the FAQ begin.

Where can I get neodymium nodes for implantation?
hard question. try:
- trust-mannheim.de (translate it w/Google if necessary)
- Calm Bodymod, in Finland
- Lucas Zippra, a piercer in France
- Steve Haworth, the inventor of them, who has a clinic in the States (google him)
- eBay, listed under "Steve Haworth magnets".
i can't sell you them, and they're not imported to the UK anymore, so if you're on this pigs' island with me you're gonna have to travel.

Casey Crook emailed with an ideal place to get uncoated magnets, which you'll need to coat yourself with a suitable bioproof agent (i suggest Sugru, but you will need to test it yourself for allergy etc.) these are at KJ Magnetics.

Can I do surgery on myself? On my brain/eyes/(insert other squishy vitals here)?
yes, but i didn't tell you to do it and therefore can't be sued; no, enjoy your meningitis.

What is the point of the nodes?
they're sensory organs for electro-magnetic radiation. it's awesome.

What else are you gonna do to yourself?
currently working on an implanted compass device.

Are you some kind of faggot?
yeah, i'm bisexual and gender-fluid. my current partner, Muad-Dib, is a d00d.

What the hell is wrong with you?
so much that if they took away the diseased parts, you'd be left with a few lumps.

What is the best kind of anaesthesia to use at home?
lidocaine in powder form, and sterile water vials to mix it up with; if not, don't bother, just put a towel between your teeth.

Why did you do this to yourself?
i'd like to say i did it because i follow a grand tradition of self-experimenters in science, or that it was because practical transhumanism is more than a philosophy to me (it's my life), but at least partly, i did it for kicks. i just wanted more senses; still do.

So I herd you liek mudkipz.
i fucking love mudkipz.

Tramadol-related: Can/does/will Tramadol fuck you up? Can I snort Tramadol/Solpadol? Can I take Tramadol and Solpadol (or other drug combinations) together? How do I take this stuff and not throw up? Can I buy Tramadol or other drugs on this site?
it can, it does and it will; see the posts labelled "tramadol fucks you up", which has become the blog's official fucking catchphrase through people constantly asking me about it. all of this shit stemmed from my once upon a time being prescribed a supply of Tramadol, which is a synthetic opiate for moderate pain. some summary:
1. i don't advise anyone to take it, for legal reasons. if you've got some, it's nothing to do with me whether you take it or not and i won't be sued by your parents when you kill yourself by accident. i warned you.
2. i have no fucking clue how much it would take to "fuck you up". it might be one pill, it might be the whole box - it depends on the dose you have, your existing opiate tolerance or lack thereof, your weight, your definition of "fucked-up" etc.
3. don't snort it, you morons. the pills are mostly talc, which will make you sneeze, and it won't absorb any quicker in your nose than it will in your stomach. just swallow the pills like a fucking normal person and stop trying to be a rock star about it.
4. don't take Solpadol with Tramadol. they're the same thing, except Solpadol is organic/natural codeine and Tramadol is its analogue, produced synthetically. you are going to poison your stupid self. i can't speak for anything else, and none of this blog is medical advice - i am NOT a doctor, i don't have anything to do with the medical profession. i just take some drugs.
5. if you don't want to throw up, i suggest a. not taking a dose so high it makes you throw up, you nubcake, or b. using metaclopramide or another pharmacy anti-nausea product.
6. i don't sell drugs here. i have enough interference from the fuzz as it is, thanks. also, if i had a supply enough to sell to you guys, i'd use it myself.

Is there a Wikipedia page for Lepht/SA/biohacking/etc.?
i don't have a Wikipedia articla of my own, and neither does Sapiens Anonym (rightfully so, since i think you have to be both sane and actually noteworthy to get a Wiki article.) there is one for transhumanism, which is actually pretty informative. plz2 improve it, make other articles, etc.

What the fuck is Sugru, what is it for and where can I get some?
Sugru is mouldable, air-setting hard silicone rubber. it's for fixing shit, and i'm thinking about using it as implant coverings. you can get it at the sugru website - go look at their videos and shit, it might be too hard for what you want to use it for and it is a bit fucking pricey but it seems to be good shit.

OMFG YOU USEDED VODKA?! U CANT USE VODKA 4 STERLIZE!
Jesus fucking Christ, can't any of you wankers read where i said that i did that once, in the absence of any other sterilisation?

VICTORY, amongst other things

implant is functioning properly, and indeed it appears that the nodes might even be synergistic. seems like i can feel more with three than 3*(effect of one). also the blog has 10,000 hits. didn't think that would ever happen.

other news: i'm not dead, and will endeavour to reply to y'all's emails and comments soon. i've just been dealing with some pretty nasty shit involving the death of a relative and a plan i discovered on the part of my best friend, who attempted toute seule to have me sectioned on the basis of my addiction (i point out possibly fruitlessly that it is a lowly opiate addiction, and not good opiates at that, and that we don't section drug addicts in this country even if they're snorting snow...)

regardless, I LIVE, and will resume posting tout de suite. expect replies if you've contacted me, and bother me if you don't get them.

L

evil plan results:

Bond loses. in other news, the implant has healed properly, to my surprise, and is now safely lodged in my left pinky and functioning at what i guess to be about half of its nerve-triggering capacity, based on what the others do.

i'll also be writing another article for H+ as previously hoped, on the ethics, procedures and legality of self-performed surgery (minor). thoughts?

L