that bridge is not my roof

my lab-attending little friends: look, i know, okay? i don't need to be told about the holes in my sweater. i know. i also know about the rips in my shoes, the less-than-superior quality of my laptop, the fact that my backpack is almost as old as i am, my eighties casque headphones (yeah, it's not a retro fashion statement) and that all the games you see me playing in tutorials are '90s abandonware. in short, i know i look like a hobo, but it's rude to be making bum jokes about the only entity in the room which happens to be both prepared to do your homework for money and capable of getting 95% on it: i ain't gonna help you if you diss me, morons.

so. in order to convince you, i propose a sociological study. i got a hypothesis: the kids who look the poorest in class, i.e. those who bought the textbooks and a portable HDD instead of using their loan money on four Prada T-shirts and a fake-ripped pair of jeans (hell, i can show you how to get a more authentic pair for free), will actually turn out to have learned more over the course of a year. since most of you have just finished your first year, i suggest using you as the experiment population. i'll submit you all to an independent, randomly-selected panel, who will give you each a "hobo rating" of 0 to 1, based on the newness of your clothes, brand presence, how bothered you seem about your hair, etc.

i will then take your hobo ratings, and plot them against your CSx grade averages. i predict at least a +0.2 correlation between hoboness and average exam mark. if i don't find one, i'll leave you alone and stop chewing you out for writing XHTML in all caps. if i do, you have to shut the fuck up about my ripped-up goddamn fatigues.

behold the STFU-inducing power of stats.


PS. two more globbets of awesome - 1. i have an official TriOptimum mail account and 2. i can offer the System Shock games as .iso images or cracked files to anyone who wants them, purely because more people could have fun playing them. and they compare me to Professor Snape.


garth2 said...

people who snigger and gawp at how someone else is dressed generally have tiny, shriveled little souls anyways. unless its about plaid pants. that's my one line. i don't bat an eye at any accoutrement besides the plaid trouser.

if you don thusly, i will not smite thee, but i will not smile, neither.

Lepht said...

i get more of the sniggers when i'm teaching, and more of the open gawps when i'm being taught. there's a logical link in there somewhere.

as for the tartan trousers, well, where i live they're tribal tradition; i gotta say though, not being a local, even i wouldn't stoop that low. they do look pretty fucking bad.

good to see a new face though. how'd you find this place?


garth2 said...

you stopped by my blog and commented, and I grabbed your feed. i read down all the atoms and rsssss's and etc's i have, most days
my roommate is a sysadmin, he'd follow the network talk a lot better! i'm a measley graphic artist.

garth2 said...

i realized my profile's not visible, i'm over at babyfight.com

Lepht said...

ah, i remember you. das fiten babeez, yeah? can't remember what the fuck i said, though.

the geek talk is a problem of mine; aside from being the only organic entity in the entire lab complex who can use a semicolon (case in point), i'm generally talking about shit that just doesn't interest people who don't think the human brain needs a wetware upgrade... hang in there, i do post meatspace crap occasionally =]


Sara said...

Thanks for writing this.

AndarTheButt! said...

Seriously? Only person who can use a semi-colon?

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[pls no ask about the vodka. debate is always welcome. remember, Tramadol fucks you up]