five of the best

here are five ways to keep yourself the hell awake, from your resident insomnia veteran:

1. don't take powernaps. seriously, i tried it between lectures last week and ended up passed out for three hours. not good.

2. screw coffee, get some kind of instantaneous caffeine - i suggest you start at the Utopia of caffeine, of course. particularly good are SpazzStick caffeinated lipbalm (i'm told "lipbalm is for pussies", but i get away with it through being a programmer, apparently) and Bawls candy - get yourself some Bawls soda too, it's good shit.

3. got music? get music. preferably something loud, vocoded and kickass.

4. listen to professors in tutorials. take notes in lectures with the keys, not the dictation software; if you're not paying attention or you just downloaded all the lecture overheads, you run the risk of falling asleep in the theatre - and you might as well stay in bed if you're gonna be snoozing.

5. pain is not real. pain is only in your mind. you can't sleep if you're wearing one of those, right?

actually, forget that last one. damn programmer's compulsion to fill lists.

L