2.2.09

naive

so i got punched over the weekend. no big deal, you're thinking, suck it up, you weak-ass cripple; thing is, it was w3dyt. the guy who was one of my best buddies, who i trusted pretty much with anything, smashed me one in the back - him being twice my strength and a whole fucking lot taller, me being just in a towel at the time and having refused to sleep with him. i got a fist-sized bruise on my goddamn ribs now.

basically, i'm fucked when it comes to fighting. i have no built-up muscle. i'm five foot three, i weigh 115 - i'm a featherweight at best, an immunocompromised wimp in reality. pretty much anyone i know could kick my sorry ass in a fistfight, and even though he only hit me once, i was so fucking shocked i didn't even hit him back. i'm ashamed to say i started crying, took a shitload of my pain pills to KO myself and slept on the floor, just with a blanket. i haven't talked to him since.

it's pathetic, but i felt so fucking betrayed. he was my best buddy, like a brother to me, and he did that just because i wouldn't fuck him. i trust my crew with everything - with the meat when i'm unconscious, with money, with my house keys, fucking everything - they're my family, more than my blood relatives are, and the idea that a brother would wanna hurt me never came into my head.

i guess i'm just too fucking naive.

2 comments:

w3dyt said...

I said I was sorry and I meant it.

And it wasn't just because you wouldn't fuck me. It was a combination of everything up until that point. Depression, Anger and frustration at the whole situation and at that point I wasn't in a position where I could walk away and cool off for a while without having to deal with anyone one else trying to interfere.

Hugh Man said...

That's no excuse you fuck... WOW that sure made me angry!!! Sorry to dig in your personal relations L. had to be said...

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