so i got four emails that were all like HEY YOU OUGHT TO GO SEE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO IT HAS YOU IN IT and i was like YEAH WHATEVER

seriously, non-hacker general public, please stop informing me about the existence of that film. i have read the original novels. they were poorly written and not particularly interesting to me. the worst thing is no one person repeats themselves when telling me i ought to go and see it; everyone genuinely means well, and doesn't realise how psychotic my conditioned response to so many repetitions of the same suggestion has become. it's not like the same people tell me over and over again.

why do i hate it that much? because everyone who has never met me or seen this place thinks that i took my personal image from a fictional character in a Swedish pulp crime novel. i was interviewed for a Norwegian newspaper and the guy wanted so badly for this to be true that he asked me three times whether or not i'd wanted to look like Lisbeth Salander before getting into looking fucked up.

to be honest, being compared to the character probably isn't great for me. she's the perfect hacker, assassin, lover and everything else despite her broken bird demeanour. she's played by two very beautiful actresses and from what i can tell the films just emphasise how short and cute and sexy she is. the hero falls in love with her, she saves the day alongside him and proves to the world how badass she is. then she goes off and lives to badass another day. i'm fucked up and insecure and neither an alternative supermodel nor a completely unstoppable genius (not saying i'm stupid, just that i can't hack the Gibson with three keystrokes and an insouciant remark.) it's a recipe for failure.

er, other news after the commercial break.



Max said...

"[...] non-hacker general public, please stop [...]"

You know there's going to be plenty of people on here who will take that as an *invitation* to point out that OMIGOSHYOUSHOULDTOTALLYGOSEETHATMOVIE

You're not the only one who probably didn't go unmarked by having to spend time at home with family. Conversations were turned into arguments, fallacious opinions were dismantled, and all sides had their share of rage.

You've been interviewed by a swedish newspaper? Care to share?

Look at it from the bright side. When 'the general public' says stuff like that, I think the intended message is not "why aren't you perfect like her?" or "you're just as broken an individual as her! What a coincidence", but rather, their comments are probably based on the fact that you've got tattoos and short hair, which is about as far off the edge of their comfortable world view as they dare look. If anything, you should be glad they're comparing you to the "cool genius hacker heroine" from a popular movie, and not something less nice.

Nice to see you're still alive.

Mitchell said...

You have one advantage - you're real and she's not.

Longanlon said...

totally with you about the novels

I dont get why everyone went nuts about them.

too long, poor storytelling, too much detail

Unqualified to speak said...

I dunno, I quite liked the writing style (only read the first one so far), but the author can't be blamed for the writing style of an English translation, anyway. ",)
Also: uber-hacker my proverbial bodypart. Anyone who *owns the target's net connection* should be able to install off-the-shelf keylogger software, at least, which gives you their machine.
In the first book, she's got that one trick, unauthorized-intrusion-wise.
It's the data processing part she's good at: that combination of NLP ability and the patience for muckraking seems rare, though - which is why scraperwiki exists, I suppose; Frankenstein up from two people the traits needed for a single "big data" using journalist. (",)

Squiddybiscuit said...

I never drew that connection, and I've been quite exposed to said movie and book (Not my thing).

Looking forward to new blog posts Sapiens Anonym!

Longanlon said...

oh yeah, and a "superhacker" using a Mac - I so wanna see that hahaha

Unqualified to speak said...

@Longanlon: it happens. They're really nice hardware, the UI's good, OS X is a BSD, and macports.org exists. Why not?
Consider how often the Mac is target #1 in Pwn2Own. Because it's pretty hardware. ",)

Ian said...

I didn't like the books all that much, but I did enjoy the first American movie quite a lot.

and I'd say that Lisbeth is more a hacker in the sense I don't use; the sense of breaking into computers and stealing information.

melladh said...

My boss told us during coffee break once that she got interviewed by the media twice regarding "being a girl in a man's world", while studying computer science. They've always decided what they want to be true before they even talk to you. The first one was for a news paper, and they just made up answers when my boss's opinion had been "wrong". The second was as part of a panel on television, and she was edited out of the entire show for the same reason.

It's not difficult to imagine that there must be lots of people who feel all warm and fuzzy inside imagining that you have a super hero that you decided to imitate, rather than you just being you.

PS. This is even more irrelevant, but you're a LOT sexier than Rooney Mara. And I personally prefer you to Noomi Rapace lookswise as well, even when she's in her Lisbeth getup. But I'm a heterosexual female, so I'm a little androgynously biased. (if that's a word. It should be a word)

malces said...

Thank you for encapsulating the weird feeling I get whenever someone mentions that series to me. I did read the books, and saw the Swedish movies on Netflix one boring day-- I even liked them.

I just don't like being compared to a dramatized and idealized fictional hero, especially when the comparison is aesthetic.
"Oi, you pale and do computers, yeah? Hack any gibsons lately?"
"Hey mate, you got dark skin and listen to hip hop, you deal drugs?"
"Yo dawg, that coat's a bit long... you gonna pull a Columbine?"

Really rustles my jimmies.

Elwood said...

even though everyone tells you this, few really know the power of the almighty "Disregard of Stupid".

cheers and live on

Lepht said...

Max - it's nobody's fault, but yeah, i'm not always good at spending time with family. i accidentally provoke them, i start fights without meaning to. it wasn't too bad for you, was it?

the interview was a long time ago, for the 27C3. i've no idea where it is, alas.

and you are right about the intended meaning, i think. nobody says it maliciously, at least - the negative effect of comparison to Salander is a product of my own head, which is much nicer than it being explicit. i hadn't thought of it being meant as a compliment. i guess that is kinda nice.

Mitchell - touche.

Longanlon - i think it was the appeal of the character types, to be honest. a lot of people seemed to fit themselves into Blumkvist's persona and "enjoy" his adventure with the pretty hacker girl. kinda like Twilight.

Unqualified - aye, they weren't terrible as brain candy. and you're right about the syntactic quality, although the plot problems and character depth are completely the original author's fault :] and yeah, Larsson has a different idea of what makes a legendary wirehead than we do.

i'm not even going to touch the Mac thing.

Squiddybiscuit - good. my name's actually Lepht, though. SA is the blog.

melladh - re. "man's world", absolutely. that situation i've seen happen a LOT. gender bias does exist in our field, it's true, but these people don't help. also, yeah you're right - i didn't consider it before but it's probably much simpler to imagine a person developing from a "template" like a character than to mentally try to place their whole personal history through trauma, parental influence, environment, etc.

regarding preference of yours truly to the GWTDT actresses, that's curious and extremely flattering. i was seriously not meaning to fish for compliments (especially given the fact that to me they both are very pretty women in character).

malces - yeah, i know. i don't get the assumptions associated with not being Caucasian but i think i get the feeling you're on about. it's the being compared to an idealised construct, even if in this particular case a lot of people don't realise that Salander is an idealised character - the broken beauty you can heal and nurture and improve, coupled with the wild child you can fuck till dawn and the magical hacker who ghosts through the Wired like a fish through water. urgh.

Elwood - that's not really my department. i'm not good at merely disregarding things that irritate or anger me, hence a lot of my dysfunction...


Motoko Kolster said...

okay first of all you are the most alternative model everrrr- ur brain is part of the pin-up.

and i mean you look like a model.

and, i can't watch the movie bc i feel like i'm just watching myself getting raped all the time like usual. i've never actually been able to sit through the first rape scene (and i've watched a lot of movies with rape scenes, and have never had a reaction like this) because i go int physical spasms and tantrums and vomit. literally. not only do they have to turn off the movie, they have to give me a pill. i wish i could watch it, it seems like a really good movie. and i feel like its about me. but, irony being the strongest force in the universe, that's exactly why i can't handle it. i really don't have any reaction like that to any other movie, even real footage of atrocities.

Anonymous said...

@ Motoko Kolster --
I came here to comment on the post, but your remarks were so startling I felt compelled to address them immediately. I hope you see this comment.

I'm so sorry you have such a violent physical reaction to viewing rape scenes. I don't pretend to be a doctor, but what you've described sounds like serious PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder -- you can google for a definition).

I don't want to overstep bounds, I'm just offering this suggestion out of concern.

If you have not already seen a counselor or psychiatric professional for the problem, I really hope that you will consider doing so, as they likely can help treat your issue. And by "treat" I don't just mean drugging you up with medication. There are things like coping mechanisms, behavioral modification and self-soothing exercises that may allow you more control over the problem. If you are seeing a professional and you don't feel the issue has improved, please consider finding another person as a second option. Sometimes you have a try a few before you find the right match.

All that said, it's perfectly reasonable to not want to visually endure a rape scene or risk a vicarious experience of watching one.

I mention the suggestions above merely in hopes that getting some assistance may alleviate the severe symptoms you describe. I can't imagine how awful it would be to experience an episode like that. Best wishes to you.

Anonymous said...

Saw the original. Just rewatched the remake. Made no connection the first time I saw the movie but for some strange reason this time I was like "why does she (Lisbeth) remind me of that girl who does those next level implant experiments?"

In truth, I couldn't even remember your name. Google hunt commenced and it

Anonymous said...

(Thank you random publish in the middle of a sentence)

Anyway. Google brought me here. So, at the very least, I'm happy my brain made the connection and if you don't mind, I'll happily dig through a blog I never knew existed of a person who always fascinated me.

And maybe you can steal a smile at the thought of reacquiring a "follower" (lacking a better word).

Anonymous said...


nivedhitha reddy said...

very nice blog thermocol paper plate machine

Post a Comment

[pls no ask about the vodka. debate is always welcome. remember, Tramadol fucks you up]