earth to Google:

i'm short, i'm jug-eared, i'm bulldog-nosed. i've always got a hood covering my eyes. i've got far too many tattoos. i don't work out enough. i'm not good-looking in any sense of the word, and i don't give a fuck, because my worth doesn't come from what my body looks like.

now will you fucking stop telling me two mysterious crushes think i'm hot?

L

ed. to further the point, Google, would you call "hot" someone whose left eye is drooped shut half the time because of their meds? i think not. assholes.